Link Visiting Places: Twilight Princess Edition

[sky_child]

Link is very confused.

Link--the other Link, perhaps better known as Link of Ordon--said he was going to take him to Hyrule Castle Town in Lanaryu Province. Link (of Skyloft) did not know what a Hyrule Castle Town was. He did know what a Lanaryu Province was, or at least just a Lanaryu, and had used that to build certain expectations.

This hilly green landscape defies his expectations.

"Um...are you sure we're in the right place?" he asks Link of Ordon, looking around at the Not Desert.

Comments

[cant_be_tamed]

"Calling our ride to town." And with that, Epona trots over to him like it ain't no thang, pushing her head against his shoulder and just basically acting like a loving animal companion because that's what she is.

"This is Epona." He takes her by the bridle and walks her over to the Link who kind of looks like an idiot right now.

"Epona, this is my ancestor..." For her part, she stares at the guy before making a horsey noise and giving her head a shake, almost in disapproval.

[sky_child]

"Um... Hello."

[cant_be_tamed]

...Link kind of chuckles at his reaction, not in a mean way but like he finally just remembered something.

"Right, guess they don't have horses up there. Well..." He...never thought he would have to explain horses! "You ride them. Like those birds you're used to, except on land? And they're...not actually birds, but you get my point."

Right? Right, okay good. With that out of the way, he saddles up in order to show Skyloft how to get on a horse.

"See?"

[sky_child]

"Oh! I see," he says, looking somewhat confused.

"So where do I get my own horse?"

[cant_be_tamed]

...Uh.

"It's...not that easy to get one. They're normally pretty expensive."

Never mind that Epona was kind of wild when he first found her and she only took a liking to him because Music but shhh.

"That's fine, though, you can hitch a ride with me." He offers a hand to help him up, even.

[sky_child]

The ensuing is such that processing coherency is not efficiently oh fuck he just fell off the horse.

Here's what happened:

1. He grabbed Link's hand and hoisted himself on the horse.

2. He sat on his calf.

3. Then he tipped over the other side.

4. And fell.

[cant_be_tamed]

Wow, you know, it's kind of sad that Colin would do a better job of getting on a horse than this guy.

Like, that's just amazing.

Link just sighs and dismounts, helping him up and trying to think of this as practice for when he teaches Colin how to ride.

[sky_child]

"Can we just walk?" he says quickly.

He is a-0k with walking long distances if it means not falling off horses!

[cant_be_tamed]

"Do you want to get there before sunset or not?" Look, he realizes that this might be pretty daunting for a first-timer, but if he's going to be here for a bit, he might as well learn the basics, and one of them was horse riding, so deal with it.

"It's not that hard. Here..." He just...

He just picks Skyloft up.

And puts him on the saddle.

And makes sure his legs are in the right position, for that matter.

There this seems acceptable.

"If you need to hold onto the saddle, feel free." He pats the...thing that Skyloft is sitting on. Saddle.

That is the saddle, okay.

[sky_child]

Skyloft may or may not be staring at Fluffy the Ranch Farm Animal with apprehensive, narrowed eyes on account of him just picking him up and putting him on a horse.

Like he was a short and scrawny kid.

Come on we all know that's not the case.

[cant_be_tamed]

Oh no, it's not that Skyloft is a short or scrawny kid!

It's just that this Link was strong enough to wrestle Gorons like goddamn even with some iron boots how is that normally possible!?

"...It'll be really fun. I promise!"

[sky_child]

And also because Skyloft is a short and scrawny kid.

"If you say so."

[cant_be_tamed]

There is also that, yes.

"Okay!" Time for a pretty quick lesson in HORNSE RIDING.

"Now, Epona's real smart, so there's not much you have to do. You only have to do two things, and that's let her know which direction you want to go and how fast you want to ride." Having said that, he holds up the reins, showing them to him.

"These steer her and let her know the direction you wanna go. If you pull on them, she'll slow down and if you keep doing that, she'll stop. You following this so far?"

Pleeeaaaase say yes.

[sky_child]

"You're gonna be steering, right?"

[cant_be_tamed]

"Well, yeah, but it doesn't hurt to know just in case." Also what if something happens???

He worries, okay.

"But...yeah, it'd be easier to just show you. Could you scoot back a little bit?" So he can get on and get this hornse riding out of the way?

[sky_child]

"Alright," he says, scootin' back.

He's still a little leery of this horse riding business, but he figures it can't be any worse than riding a Loftwing.

Can it?

[cant_be_tamed]

He saddles up once again, doing so with relative ease, and settles in.

"You, uh...might need to hold onto me, since I've got the reins and all."

From the sound of that, oh Goddesses it can get worse, aaaaa-

[sky_child]

Link just kinda

stares at Link's sides for a second

and then

puts his hands on them

just the sides

because that'll work rite???

[cant_be_tamed]

...He'd better start Epona off slowly.

"Alright, c'mon girl." His feet hit Epona's flank and off they go at a trot but yeah oh no Epona is moving oh nooooo.

[sky_child]

It is soon apparent that Link's current idea of "holding on" is insufficient, and that he must find a more secure means of "holding on".

This of course means adopting the more reasonable position of curling his arms around the other Link's waist and leaning in closer and

generally trying to let go of the pendulum that swings between falling asleep and acute nausea.

But it's like his hands are tied to that thing.

[cant_be_tamed]

"You alright back there?"

lol

Of course not.

[sky_child]

[cant_be_tamed]

He's going to take that silence as a "No" and slows Epona down to below a trot, just calmly walking along.

"Better?"

[sky_child]

"mmmrrggg"

[cant_be_tamed]

Okay, that didn't sound good at all and he stops Epona completely, waiting for the other Link to calm down and also hopefully not throw up.